Mirror

I know when my mental health is starting to slip because my houseplants, which are usually healthy and happy, start to look sad and ragged.

Like this:

Like a mirror, the state of my plants reflects the state of my health. If I don’t step in, it just gets worse and worse for all of us—the plants and me.

“Please DO something,” my plants gasp. Somewhere, I know I want to water them. I know I should help us survive. But I don’t. I only watch—a passive bystander—as the soil dries and the dark green leaves turn yellow then brown and fall to the floor. I walk past them multiple times a day and look on as my sadness grows. A dark void in my heart. It’s such a helpless place to be, this depression.

Depression runs in my family. I’ve been vulnerable to it since my teenage years. Sometimes it just happens; I can feel it coming on and I’m powerless to stop it. Those are the worst of times. And sometimes, as is the case right now, it’s the result of reckless behavior and an egregious lack of self care. Like working too many hours under intense pressure for months for a company you’ve grown to dislike.

In those moments when the world is crashing down around you, you must take it a step at a time. You must re-prioritize and remind yourself that your health, truly, is all you have. Without health, there would be no work. No loved ones. No plants. And for many of us, plants = life.